My cerebral angiogram ordered by Dr. Hepworth is finally almost here! Friday first thing in the morning at 7:30 am (I hope.) I’m so ready to get it over with. It’s been over two months since I was referred for it and I have had way way too much time to think about it and google and worry.
Yesterday I went for the pre opp appointment and met with a nurse practitioner from the doctors office. That is when she told me for the first time that 1) there will be to access points, wrist and groin (the doctor told me wrist or groin at the consult) and 2) I am not allowed to be sedated for the first part in order to get an accurate pressure reading. The beginning, lying in an OR while they do things to my body, is the part that terrifies me. I don’t want to be awake and if I have to be awake I don’t want to be aware of that. had a complete meltdown, cried, told them how anxious I was, and that I wasn’t sure I could stay calm and hold still if I have absolutely no sedation. The NP said she would check and see if I can take my anxiety medication prior to the appointment (they already told me I couldn’t.) After I left she talked to the doctor, called me back and said I CAN have sedation for the whole thing and they can still measure the pressure. Not sure if she was just mistaken or if this is an accommodation for me. I’ll still be awake but will be on versed and fentanyl. Also said after I sign the consent forms, before the procedure, they can give me something for anxiety if I’m not doing well. I think I can live with two access points and having dye shot into my brain and lying flat for three hours after if I am sedated for the bulk of it. All that to say… advocating for myself, even as the emotional mess I was, was worth it and I’m proud of myself. I tend to space off, stare at the wall and disassociate at doctors appointments so I’m glad I was open about my feelings this time. I have never had any kind of surgery or medical procedure in my life. The worst thing I’ve had is my wisdom teeth removed, and I was not even awake for that.
Today and tomorrow I am trying to keep myself busy and avoid obsessing over what is to come. I’m very nervous for the results as well as the procedure. I just hope this brings me closer to a diagnosis. My Covid test was negative and I am not pregnant so it’s on for Friday. Now I have to use this nasty chemical soap for the next three days and drink some Gatorade type drink the night before. Insomnia has been off the charts this month but thankfully my pain and symptoms have still been mostly been kept at bay by the plavix.
Just venting and needing to get some of that out. Thank you all for the support thus far. Also if anyone has any reassuring things to say about this procedure that would help me a lot! Will update after the angiogram!