Wow, it’s been a while since I last posted! So, I want to apologize for that!
It’s sad to say but I’m still on my journey to get relief from my debilitating chronic pain! It’s been about 5mths since I had my second ES surgery. For me the second side was definitely much harder post-op! Dr. Samji said oftentimes that’s the case plus my second styloid was much thicker and longer then the first one.
So, in the last 5mths I’ve been taking it day by day to feel improvements from my remaining symptoms. My first surgery successfully cured my intense daily head pressure, and unbalanced feeling but I still had ear stuffiness, horrible facial pain and TMJ popping on my left side so I was hoping the second surgery would get rid of those symptoms and fortunately it did but I had to do a lot of work to help it heal like physical therapy, myofacial massage, acupuncture, cold laser therapy, daily massages from my husband and heat/cold therapy. After my second surgery I’ve seen a Neurologist, TMJ specialist, orthodontist, ENT, 2 General Dr’s, CT scan of neck and Jaw. The Dr’s are not finding anything abnormal so they don’t know what to do with me?? But, as I mentioned, I’m finally getting relief from my chronic face and TMJ pain so that’s really good and encouraging but one thing that still remains and very persistent is my left ear pain/discomfort! It was the first symptom that I experienced in my healing journey and has been my most problematic one!! I was really hopeful that by removing my elongated styloids it would treat my chronic ear pain condition but it hasn’t because there’s still so much inflammation, popping and I have trouble equalizing pressure in that ear! It got really bad again once the weather changed to cold, wet, cloudy weather! It’s giving me so much discomfort and taking away my quality of life! Out of all my ES symptoms I really wanted this one to go away the most and the fact that it’s still very much here brings me down tremendously!! I don’t know what to do, or who to see about it anymore and I certainly don’t have the money to do anything anyways! My ES medical expenses left me flat broke! I haven’t been able to work for a year due to ES & chronic pain so, ya not much has been paid on my medical bills!! So, I’m getting to know all the debt collectors pretty well with their daily harassment!!!
I’m so fed up with feeling lousy and just want a break!!! I don’t even want to tell my family, friends, or people at church anymore because they’ve heard it all before and assume I’m all better now since I had ES surgery. They’re ready to move on and don’t even ask how I’m doing anymore! I don’t blame them because on the outside I don’t look like I’m in pain but I am!! So, I sit in silence and do my best not to complain and act normal amongst the living!
I’m losing all hope that my left ear will improve and I’ll ever be fully restored! I’m glad that it hasn’t affected my hearing, and I don’t have tinnitus, or dizziness but my poor ear is daily beaten up by the massive pops, and inflammation.,
Also, I’m really glad that ES surgery did successfully treat many symptoms that I experienced previously and my body is overall much stronger.
I’m so sorry I come to you with all this but I feel safe talking here because I know that everyone on this forum can relate due to their own personal pain and struggles!! It really helps talking to my village of pain warriors!!
Tonight I reached my threshold and had enough of this consecutive pain and broke down emotionally while my family was asleep and I was on the verge of having a full blown panic attack but now I feel better just releasing my feelings and it distracted me from focusing on immediate danger!
All is well, I must remain strong and positive and accept that this is all temporary! One day there will be no more pain and suffering and I’ll be with my heavenly Father but for now I must try to work hard on being the very best version of myself and be a great Mom and wife to my very sweet young daughters and loving husband!! Please say a prayer that my left ear will heal and work properly again and that I will find work quickly because I just received my last disability check, and that I’ll be able to get out of medical debt and we’ll be able to provide a good life for our children!! Thanks so much! God bless!! Merry Christmas and Happy New year!! I pray 2020 will be a much better year for all of us!!!